By Nancy Alexander, PT, CSCS
Here I am at camp for the summer with more free time than I am used to. What a blessing this has been. I can think of no better place to be and no better time than summer to relax, reflect and rejuvenate. This month’s blog has a little different flavor to it and I hope it lightens your load and lightens your mind. It did mine.
One of my blessings now is that I am writing like a madwoman. Prior to coming north, I hadn’t taken pen to paper in a very long time. Now, I write daily and often for pages at a time. I had to buy a new journal because I filled the one I had. When I started, I was tired and dare I say bored. As a result of my writing, energy and enthusiasm are returning to my body daily. Smiles are, too. I knew what I needed as it is that powerful for me. Recently a friend asked me over lunch if I was going to write a third book. “Yes,” I said without hesitation. “And I think I’ve just started it.” More on that another time.
This month I am sharing my journal entry for today – tweaked slightly to address it to you, my readers. I heard the analogy below from someone earlier this morning and I wanted to share it with you. It resonated with me and maybe it will with you, too.
Be selfish about what you give your attention to. There is so much drama, negativity, struggle, anger, and well just plain falsehoods out there that, if you give them your attention, they will weigh you down. And you may not even realize it until you start snapping back at your spouse for no good reason or you’re just more negative than normal. Yes, both were me. I admit, I needed an attitude adjustment.
Think of a backpack. The analogy is that each burden you take on is a heavy rock placed in your backpack. This backpack is yours to carry wherever you go. The more rocks you have, the heavier it gets and this makes it difficult for you to live your life as you wish. For example, you slow down and all your thoughts drift to how dang heavy your backpack is. It’s all you think about. Before long, you become exhausted carrying all this weight around.
Overfill it to the point that you can’t carry it and that leaves you stuck in place. You can’t move – emotionally or physically. You simply don’t have the strength to overcome the weight of it all. You don’t want to go there. Carrying all the burdens presented to you is just not feasible. Many of these rocks aren’t even yours anyway. They are the burdens of others that do not belong to you. Let go of the rocks that do not serve you. Not every burden is yours to endure. Empty your backpack. Remove the rocks, the burdens, that have no place in your life.
Lighten your load. And be very careful about accepting other’s rocks in the future.
If something matters to you, if it has meaning for you, if it matters to those whom you love, then receive it and address it to serve you. If it doesn’t matter, and certainly if it is unethical or can hurt someone else, walk away. Acknowledge it and walk away. Do not take on these rocks. They are heavy and they are not your rocks.
I already knew this but somehow, I strayed. I strayed from clearer thinking and from journaling. Writing may or may not be your thing. Another way to reflect and make time for yourself is through movement and exercise. Take a walk, hike, or exercise in a way that frees your mind to wander, think and dream. Find a way to center yourself, ground yourself, and help make what was cloudy clear.
We all need reminders from time to time, we are human. Be diligent. Be good to yourself. Smile. Give love to those who are worthy. And most of all, give love and grace to yourself, always.
Lovely, just lovely words of encouragement. As a cancer patient I’m very careful who I spend time with. Life is short yet so full of joy and wonder – with the right people. For some unfathomable reason, people want to tell me their cancer stories and often it’s of a friend or relative who died. Ugh. Hard stuff for me to hear. Just yesterday I was trapped at lunch hearing details of a hospice passing that I’d already heard and attended services for in January. Although from a loving friend, she left my day with a darkness I really didn’t expect or need. I guess where I’m going is that not only do we need to protect our ears and hearts, we also need to protect what we say to others. Hurt, sick or sad people need our light. If stuck with me at lunch I will purpose to remember this dark discussion and watch my own words. Do they uplift? Do they encourage? Yes, there’s pain in the cancer journey, but can I share the hope that is in me? The love I’m receiving from friends and family? The joy of some day being with my Savior and healed in heaven if not here? You betcha! Thanks for the uplifting message Nancy! And the reminder that words matter. See you in September!
Thank you, Debbie, for your uplifting and insightful note here. We often do not know what others are going through so why not be kind and hopeful to everyone we meet. I love your “screen” to see if your words are worthy – do they uplift? do they encourage? I encourage everyone to give their words this test. Thank you for being the light that you are. See you soon.
Nancy,
It is difficult for me to even think of you as being negative since you generate so much that is positive. But this was a helpful reminder to me. My backpack is weighing me down these days. Your reminder says that it’s okay for me to enjoy the simple things I enjoy even if they aren’t what excites others. I have recently stopped reading so many of the newspaper articles that feed my fears and worries. It is too much for me. I like to be current and informed, but sometimes it takes too much of a toll on my psyche. So, thanks! My shoulders need to shake off some of the weight!
Janet, yes, you are doing well for yourself! Be informed, but guard your psyche. Only you can do this, no one else can or will. Take your life in the direction YOU want to go. You can do this! Thanks so much for sharing.
Nancy, thank you for the wonderful message. Writing for me is a “given” even if recorded on the back of an envelope if that is all available. I also connect with the weight of the rocks, a path less travelled, purposeful self care and love. I recently “relocated” my written entries and hope to combine them in a place for my family and friends . My mantra, “Less is more”, and a wonderful friend’s message after each phone call, “Be good to Lorraine, today.”
Fellow writer, you know the power first hand. Good for you for combining your writings to later share with your friends and family. What a gift!!
Who knows when inspiration will strike. I always have note paper in the car just in case. I wrote this blog on the back of my shopping list in the laundromat. When the feeling strikes, write it down. Be good to Lorraine, everyday.
Nancy, it was so nice spending time with you yesterday and getting a heads up on today’s wonderful newsletter. You have some exciting plans in the works, and I look forward to seeing them in action. Letting go of stuff that’s not our friend is the best advice. It takes work but, in time, is well worth the effort. Be well.
Thanks Judy, it was great to be with you. You always lift me up, even if we haven’t seen each other in years. The future is ours to create. It takes effort. It takes intent. And as you know, it is time well spent. Keep moving.