How to Age Your Way

By Nancy Alexander, PT, CSCS

I am a physical therapist and certified fitness professional, not a psychologist. But I hear you. I see you. I know some of you are challenged by going through the aging process. “I think my personal increased stress about the aging process… is presenting to me,” said a current class participant. I admire her for bringing this forward and I am convinced she is not alone. I want to discuss this today because I think this topic is extremely important to you.

You, I, and all of us still on this earth are going through the aging process. Thank goodness. For that I am grateful as it is certainly better than the alternative. Moreover, movement and aging are forever linked in my opinion. I was taught to treat the whole person which supports why I take on this topic. I know about movement but as I said, I am not trained nor an expert in mental health. As a result, I went looking for some information and resources that I could share with you to help you on your journey. If nothing else today, I want to increase your awareness about the concept of conscious versus subconscious aging.

What is conscious aging?

• Do not let your subconscious take over and thus age without thinking about it, without driving it. Do not buy in to the subtle programming that has perhaps taken place.
• Do not buy into a cultural myth of what a certain age should feel like or act like.
• Do not buy into a myth that what happened to your parents will happen to you.
• Do not let what society, and perhaps even your family, deem what is appropriate for your stage of life.

Perhaps many of you are challenged by coming to terms with accepting what you cannot do now, while not stopping what you can do. Try not to retreat from life and stop enjoying activities when you still can. Put another way, there may be there something that you find difficult to do now but it doesn’t mean stopping everything else. That’s like slashing your other three tires just because you have a flat.

What if you could look at the aging process with joy and expectancy. What if you could accept yourself as you age. What if you could live with a sense of purpose. According to an article from Piedmont Healthcare, “Conscious aging is accepting the aging process and the fact that we are all getting older – because that’s the plan,” says Angela Buttimer, MS, NCC, RYT, LPC, a licensed psychotherapist at Cancer Wellness at Piedmont. “It means not buying into a cultural myth of what a certain age should be like, feel like or act like.”

(Source: https://www.piedmont.org/living-better/conscious-aging-how-to-accept-and-enjoy-life-at-every-stage)

Do not let ageism guide your plan for aging. From my book, “Get UP! Defy Aging with Movement,”

As I learn more about ageism, is not just discrimination. It is more insidious than that. It is the expectation that as we get older, we become weaker, we lose flexibility, and we lose our balance. It is the belief that we need more help and that we can’t do it all ourselves. It is the belief, to some, that we can’t live on our own. It is the belief we are in God’s waiting room.

A client of mine, Jane, noticed her balance was getting worse. She was in her mid-sixties and wondered if something else was going on in her body. She went to her family doctor who then referred her to an orthopedic physician. She met with this specialist with one thing in mind, and that was to find out what was wrong and to identify what she could do to improve her balance. He examined her, and when he was finished, he said to her, “Well, Jane, you are getting older.” No. No. No. Shame on him. This is ageism, front and center. This is wrong to me on many fronts. First, was he indeed overlooking some other reason for this? Second, research shows that even though balance declines with age, you can help reverse these effects with exercise and training. You do not need to be afraid. You should be encouraged to take action and move.

It is unfair when others slap us with generalizations and discrimination like this. What is just as destructive though is when we do it to ourselves. Unfortunately, many of us have been programmed to accept compromised mobility as we age–just because we are older. We have to become more aware of the filters we use, both for ourselves and others.

What are your stories telling you? Are they negative? I can’t do this anymore. I am too old.  I shouldn’t be doing things like this at my age. Don’t believe everything you tell yourself. Question your self-talk. Bring conscious thought into the conversation. Conscious aging positively affects our physical, mental, and emotional health.

Buttimer cautions against telling yourself stories like, when my grandmother was my age, she had this health condition. “When we do this, we will believe our own negative stories and step away from our vitality,” says Buttimer. “We have to be careful of the stories we tell ourselves because they can empower or defeat us.”

Enter the concept of hope. Hope can be hard to find, especially if you’ve been met with challenges for an extended time. According to Mark Flanagan, LCSW, MPH, MA, a Piedmont outpatient oncology social worker “Hope isn’t just an idea. Hope mainly results in a change in your thoughts and actions. When we live with hope, we have a degree of flexibility and possibility. We leave space to allow change to happen.”

When you have hope, you can do practical, positive things for yourself that help shift your mindset and nourish your spirit. “Hope means actively envisioning the kind of future you want for yourself and your loved ones,” Flanagan says. “It takes a different part of the brain to think about what kind of world we want to live in.”

Here are some tips, from Flanagan, to help you get started:

Consider what has helped you cope in the past. “This isn’t the first challenge you’ve gone through,” he says. “You have resources and strengths from previous challenges. You’re stronger than you think, and your resources never leave you. You just need to be reminded of them.”

Seek support. Getting support can help you have more hope. Talk to a therapist, family member, friend, or support group. You can even reach out to others online. “The worst thing you can do is to try to go through life alone,” says Flanagan. “When we get depressed and anxious, we tend to isolate ourselves from others, which reinforces distorted thoughts we may have about ourselves and the world.”

Journal regularly. “Often, people don’t have an outlet or someone to whom they can vent,” he says. “Journaling is a free way to do that. You can express anything you want—good, bad or ugly. No one has to see it. A journal is a great place to figure out what you need to say.”

Find a creative outlet. “When we’re in survival mode, the first thing to go is often creative expression,” says Flanagan. “When you have a creative outlet, you act out hope by creating something that hasn’t existed before.”

A creative outlet can look like any activity or hobby you enjoy such as arts and crafts, writing, dancing, drawing, gardening, or cooking.

“When you create something new, you’re tapping into the fundamental force of hope in the universe, which is creative,” he says. “When you create something, you’re bringing more of that energy into the world.”

Inspire others. “You’re not the only one who’s struggling,” says Flanagan. “We can become very focused on our own pain, which only amplifies it. When we get outside of ourselves and help others, we can not only lessen our pain, but remind ourselves that we’re stronger than we think.”

Consider volunteering, calling a loved one you haven’t talked to in a while, donating to a good cause or offering words of wisdom to people online.

Take back control of your life. “No matter what happens in your external environment, you always have control over how you approach challenges,” he says. “Things will get better when you decide they’ll get better. You have to choose if you want to continue to live without hope or if you want to make responsible, reasonable changes. Put the focus of control back inside yourself rather than in external circumstances.”

You have a choice. You always have a choice.

When to seek help for hopelessness

Sometimes, we need additional resources to find hope again. If you still feel hopeless after implementing these tips, talk to your primary care provider, oncologist or counselor for support.

Source: https://www.piedmontcancerwellness.org/Article/597

Below are some community resources for you to consider both in the Finger Lakes area of New York and Hillsborough County, Florida, where most of you live. For those in other areas, start by performing an online search for “aging resources” for your local area.

Community Resources (alphabetical order)

Rochester/Finger Lakes area

• Eldersource Care Management – http://www.eldersource.org/
• Greater Rochester Partnership for the Elderly (GRAPE) – The Elder Pages – http://www.theelderpages.com/
• Lifespan – https://www.lifespan-roch.org/
• Monroe County (NY) Office for the Aging – https://www.monroecounty.gov/aging
• New York State Office for the Aging – http://aging.ny.gov/

Florida

• Florida Department of Elder Affairs – https://elderaffairs.org/
• Hillsborough County Aging Services – https://www.hillsboroughcounty.org/en/residents/social-services/seniors

Living Well Academy Members, please let me know of any other resources you’d like to share that are available in your community. I will add resources, as appropriate, to my website in the future. Thank you.

Keep Moving

To engage with ourselves and to engage with our community, requires conscious aging, hope, and movement. My passion for you to keep moving has never been stronger. Why? Because movement is functional. It is necessary to live the life you want. From my book, “Get UP! Defy Aging with Movement,”

Preserving your ability to move is the most important thing you can do for yourself. Period. Think of what makes a happy and fulfilling life for you. Remember that every time you move, every time you exercise, you are putting money in your body bank. You are building up your savings to do the things you want to do. You are investing in your body.

I’ve heard it described a number of ways, but please consider this. I propose that we have five grand pillars in our world that make a life. These are the things that allow us to survive and thrive. From beginning to end. And, you bet, movement is one of them. In fact, it’s not only one of them, it’s the most important one. I think of movement as the foundation upon which the other pillars are supported.

Movement paves the way for you to shop healthy and, therefore, eat healthy. Movement allows you to go out of your home and be with others, to connect with others. Movement allows you to laugh with others, to have fun, to be happy. When you move and have all these other aspects of your life in your hands, how can you not be grateful? Movement makes all the pillars come to life.

What the old programming is telling you may not be true. Challenge your beliefs with conscious thought. What’s really true is that you can age under your terms. Use movement to make it happen. Start with what you can do and progress it from there. Wear your superpower cape, and get moving.